Mistakes and New Chapters

by Cait

“Mistakes are not real. Everything is a learning experience”

I don’t know if I believe the previous statement. As a young adult prone to claiming that the majority of my choices are mistakes, detracting the existence of ‘mistakes’ makes my life a little more my own, which is a bit terrifying. I feel that without being able to utilize the scapegoat that is ‘mistakes,’ I’m much more responsible for what life throws at me. I’m not sure I’m good with that. I’m already paranoid that I’m going to screw up my life with poor choices and a lack of ambition, but is that really living? Shouldn’t we go ahead and make our choices, and see what happens without a total encompassing fear of what could go wrong? Isn’t that what life is about?

 

Are we supposed to be concerned with how each choice (poor or otherwise) is going to affect everything in the long run, or should we make each choice and take it for what it is, a part of our story. I’m not even close to having my life all organized and tied up with a pretty red bow. In fact, I’m about as far from that definition as a person can get. Is that going to be my downfall? A lack of foresight?

I don’t think so. I’m still in the driver’s seat of my life, and I’m not good with failure. I think I’m going to try things, and make attempts at what makes me happy before I start freaking out about my “lack of foresight.” I’m still a kid. I know I graduate in a few months, but that doesn’t mean that my life is just going to be all about the daily grind and money and bills. No, rather, I’m going to keep living my life the way I have been, but instead of school, I’m going to have a job. I’m probably not going to like it all that much, but I don’t really like school all that much. I’m going to be working and making moolah, but I’m also going to be attempting to figure out what I really want to do. I don’t think I could be 100% fulfilled if I just let work be my life. I’m excited to find new hobbies and meet new people. It’s exciting to be starting a new chapter soon. In some ways, it doesn’t seem like just a new chapter, but maybe a new book with new characters and plot twists. I am the author after all.

Until next time or not, I’m still Cait.

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