Living Alone.

by Cait

So I am currently obsessed with Thought Catalog. I don’t think this addiction is going to ebb anytime soon, so I am forced to confront my demons and establish the reasons behind my obsession. So in an effort to simulate the writing I enjoy, here is my first Thought Catalog-ish, post.

The 8 Reasons Why Living Alone is Terrifying

(and the one reason it’s awesome!)

1. First of all, there is no one else to blame bathroom issues on. Let’s just get this one out of the way…when living with roommates/family there was always that ability to blame the clogged toilet on another resident and walk away whistling Outkast’s “Roses“. However, when you’re on your own, and a guest points out a malfunctioning WC, it’s all on you.

2. All of those bugs? You gotta deal with em. When I lived with my best friend in college, she was always game to conquer the flying, creepy-crawling, and scurrying bugs/insects/critters. Sure, it wasn’t her choice each and every time to play my knight in shining armor, but the point is, now the crickets and spiders are my problem, and my problem alone.

3. No more thunder buddies. Now I’m not exactly scared of thunderstorms, but I am afraid of shadows on the wall, shrill screaming down the street, and random booms that sound like gunshots at midnight. (I live in small-town Kansas, and I still hear scary noises, okay?!)

4. No one to talk to… Now of course this isn’t completely true. I have a cell-phone bill that is telling me how many minutes I’ve gone over this month to prove the fact that I talk far too much, HOWEVER, when it’s two a.m. and you feel like discussing the pros and cons of Brita water pitchers, you’re basically SOL. My previous roommates can attest to my inherent need to discuss stupid things at inopportune moments, and let me tell you, they never left me hanging. Now, the only audience to my ridiculous ramblings is the random shit taking up space in my house.

5. The knowledge that, yes, you did eat all that pizza yourself. When you have roommates, it’s easy to believe that someone else ate half of your food. When you live alone…not so much. Unless you’re like me and tend to believe that there’s a phantom man living in your guest room closet who binge eats around the same time as you eat your well-portioned (wink wink, nudge nudge) dinner, then you’re fine!

6. You have to take out the trash every freaking time! And it’s your fault and yours alone when you forget that it’s trash day.

7. Toilet paper, laundry detergent, and all those other mundane, but necessary daily items have to bought by you. I mean, it’s cool to feel all adult, but then again… no-it’s-actually-not-and-buying-all-that-shit-adds-and-boy-do-I-need-a-raise-to-offset-the-cost-of-all-the-stuff-if-I’m-gonna-get-new-shoes.

8. You have to furnish the whole damn place yourself. If you live in a shoebox, this may not be an issue, however, I have a house and it was a good few months before it had any semblance of furniture. Couches/tables/lamps (even the thrift store stuff) eat up a big chuck of the ole budget!

But then there’s that one reason it’s awesome…

You get to be a real grown-up! Whatever that means… but seriously! You may feel a little lonely, and a little freaked out by the bumps in the night, but at the end of the day, you’re living your life and you’re moving forward. I think that deserves a pat on the back, as well as a glass bottle of wine. Plus! No one can complain about you raiding their stash, because all the alcohol in the house is yours. Do with that what you will.

Until next time or not, I’m still Cait.

(Okay obviously walking around naked, blasting your shitty music, and hogging the DVR sans consequences are all pretty awesome perks to living alone, but I thought that those things were summed up in being an adult. Am I wrong? As it’s my blog, I say no. Byeeee!)