The quick turnaround
You know, I said that I started the process of applying for jobs after Christmas, but in reality, I’ve been open to a change for much longer. I think that’s where the lack of patience comes in. I had been gnawing on the idea of making a life change like it was a piece of bubble gum, and when the change didn’t come when I wanted it to, it was like the bubble I was blowing just exploded in my face.
Nice image amirite?
Anyways, after Christmas break it was like life was just laughing at me. It’s not like January is the greatest month in the first place, but when you’ve decided you’re not happy with your current situation, that’s when things can get real depressing real real fast. And that’s what happened. I spent a month feeling bad for myself, and it sucked. Plain and simple.
I remember it was a Tuesday in February when things started to take a turn. I was home because of a snow day, and I decided that rather than spend the day watching movies and eating the contents of my pantry (the standard snow day agenda), I was going to do something useful: apply for jobs. And I did. And as luck would have it, I heard back that next week! Yay! Excitement! Except then I was scared (read: terrified.) Because while I had been pining away for a change in my life, it was a completely different animal when it became attainable. This was moving across the state, this was leaving the comfort zone that I had built around me. Suddenly, all of the things that frustrated me about Goodland, were the things that were holding me there. The prospect of leaving really wasn’t appealing anymore. So I turned down that first interview offer out of sheer fear. It was a good company offering a great job opportunity, but I said no. I mean, I didn’t even say no, I emailed no. Coward.
Then I went home (parent’s house-hometown home), and remembered all the reasons I wanted a change. I told myself that the next opportunity that presented itself, I would give a fair shot. So after a few weeks of waiting, I received another phone call, another offer for interview. And all the same fears came back. Was moving really the right choice? Shouldn’t I hold my first post-college job for at least a full two years, maybe even three? I didn’t want my resume to shout “FLAKY & INDECISIVE” after all.
Cue the soul searching chats with close friends and family.
God bless the individuals who listened to my constant self-doubting arguments and still pushed me to take the plunge into the unknown. After nearly all of my arguments (valid and invalid) had been negated (in some cases, several times over), I examined all of my reasons for my hesitations, I decided that yes, I was going to take the chance (and the vacation time) to pursue this opportunity.
After the interview, they told me I wouldn’t hear back for about two weeks. Strangely, I had a suspicion that would not be the case. I knew that I wouldn’t get near that amount of time to enjoy what was soon to be my last month of comforting normalcy for a long while.
It turned out that two weeks was actually two days. I got a call that while they had other candidates to consider, they decided that I was the person they wanted. Me.
Oh the joy I felt. I was stunned.I was so excited. I couldn’t believe it. Then cue the self-doubt, again. I couldn’t do this. I could not start a new job in less than a month. I could not sort out a new apartment in less than a month. Long story short, there were a lot of things I could NOT do in less than a month.
But I did.
to be continued…