not perfect.

by Cait

I don’t really listen to podcasts, though the episodes I have tuned into have been pretty okay. I feel the same way about TV. I just can’t seem to find anything that truly pulls me in, not regularly or often anyways.

However, I was listening to the podcast Millennial the other day, and I heard something interesting. The podcast (at least the first 6 episodes or so) are about being a young adult with a college degree, no plan, and a lot a nerves about the decisions you’re making.

Basically it sums up my current state of mind. So that’s cool.

There was a concept Megan, or rather her friend, touched on that really resonated with me. It was about the dreams we have, and the way we picture ourselves executing those dreams. In our minds, our dreams are perfection. We don’t typically take reality into account, and that’s okay. They’re dreams, sheesh calm down. However, when your fear of reality keeps you from pursuing your dream, that’s no bueno.You have to accept that the picture in your mind is never going to be exactly what you want it to be. It’s a very deliberate process. You have to confront your fear of inadequacy and just be vulnerable and do the thing!

How does this relate to me?

Writing, or rather, being a “writer,” is a dream of mine. One problem I have is when it comes to sharing what I write. It really scares me!

There I said it. Now you and my mom are the two people who know.

How silly is that? I love to write, but don’t want to share my stories. Well, that kind of defeats the point of writing. I blame journaling. I love to write about my thoughts, feelings, and life events. It really helps me sort my brain out when I can see everything in front of me. But journaling is completely personal. I would never want to share my candid thoughts in the way they’re recorded in my journal. No way. But I’ve been journaling since I could write, and the secrecy that surrounds journaling has seeped into my “normal” writing as well. I’m afraid to share my perspective or creation with people because it’s such a foreign concept to me!

However, if I’m ever going to pursue what I’ve consistently loved since…well since I held a pencil, I’m going to have to move past the fact that 1) my writing is never going to be exactly what I want it to be, and 2) people are going to dislike it. Both of these are essential for my writing to ever progress past journaling and blog posts that aren’t promoted.

So, join me in pursuing our passions, and, if necessary, accepting a less than perfect job.

Until next time or not, I’m still Cait.